Stop Blaming the Drug Dealer
As a society we have become very good at passing the buck. We continually refuse to look at ourselves and in our own home for answers to some of society’s most difficult issues. It is much easier for us to villainize others to make ourselves look better or at least justify our shortcomings. This is quite simply the case that I am finding with our youth, addictions, criminal activity and suicide. All of these are someone else’s responsibility and they all have a villain that we can point our collective fingers at. With our youth we can blame the schools or their peers. With addictions and criminal activities we can point our fingers at drug dealers and gangs. With suicide we can point our fingers at drug dealers, peers that were bullying or poor school interventions. Everything is someone else’s fault.
It is time for all of this to stop. We call ourselves a civilized society, well let’s start acting like one. We have more homeless youth across this country than ever before, nearly 7,000 every night. We have drugs and addictions killing our loved ones off in epidemic proportions, 914 in BC alone and over 50,000 in the US in 2016. We have youth suicide rates steadily increasing year over year with alarming rates of nearly 75 per 100,000 in northern Canada. Only 10 years ago the national average was under 11 per 100,000. We are failing our most vulnerable and letting down our youth like never before. It is time that we stop this downward spiral and stop looking to reactionary policies to fix the problem. The problem starts at home. Yes the problem started with us, the parents.
I know it is easy to blame the drug dealer or the gangs for these issues but it is not their fault. They are simply providing something that we as families and society failed to provide. They are providing a life line to an otherwise hopeless person that is likely considering suicide and death. They are offering the addict in pain a temporary coping solution that will help them make it through another day. They are offering the hope of acceptance and to be a part of something greater. To be accepted as they are without judgment. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not advocating for drug dealers or gangs. I am merely pointing out that they are not the cause of the problems, they are the solution for the addict or youths problems. If we really want to make a difference we must shift our focus from eliminating the addict or youths solution to determining what their problem is in the first place or at least offering them an alternative solution. We are failing in both of these areas and therefore we have found ourselves in a crisis situation now, trying to punish and eliminate their answer rather than focusing on the solution to our problem.
I am in fact suggesting that the solution must start at home. I am even going so far to suggest that we as parents like to blame other people for our mistakes and shortcomings. It is time for this to stop and for us to become accountable for what is going on. It is not our school, nor the drug dealer, nor the gang’s fault that our child is using drugs or engaged in criminal activity. It is not our school’s responsibility to ensure that our child is loved and cared for and to recognize when there is a potential mental health issue. Where is the communication between the parent and child? No one should know a child or youth better than their parents. If there is a communication problem, seek counseling or guidance. It is not the drug dealer’s fault that our child has decided to use drugs at all. It is an issue that the youth has little or no education about drugs and peers may be pressuring them to experiment. Perhaps the parents are sending contradictory messages to their children by allowing them to drink at home or maybe even using drugs themselves. Having the schools educate children about the laws prohibiting alcohol and drug use, while parents allow and use themselves, completely undermines the legitimacy of anything else the school tries to teach your child from that point forward. The child or youth quickly learns that everything that the school is telling me is not fact and I am allowed to make my own decisions. When it comes to gangs, the youth are typically trying to find someone that cares. Someone that takes the time to swing some attention their way. Perhaps someone to connect with at all. Youth that have strong family connections and a healthy peer group are not finding themselves in gangs. It is the youth that feel alienated and alone and are looking for someone to care.
Regardless of the situation, the solution must start at home. Yes there are many other aspects to the solution and they must be addressed as well. We as parents and as a society must first acknowledge that the problem is not the drug dealer, the problem is that our youth or loved one is seeking drugs. Perhaps looking deeper into the source of the problem rather than eliminating the solution to the problem we will begin to make a difference. That difference starts at home.
