Coping With Urges and Cravings
One of my greatest struggles in early recovery was dealing with urges to use. I would get an urge and my mind would start playing tricks on me trying to justify use and why I should just give up on recovery. It was like my mind was against me and I was battling myself. Over and over, I would try and reason with myself why it would be a bad idea to give into the urge. Thankfully I was quite successful in convincing myself to continue with recovery.
There were many tools that I used to work my way through my urges. One of the most successful tools was that of distraction. I learnt quite early that most urges passed quite quickly. Typically within 5 - 10 minutes. Putting on my headphones, picking up the phone, writing in my journal, playing Candy Crush on my phone or doing something on my computer all worked to get me through many of my urges. By distracting my mind from the urge and engaging in an activity that required some focus or provided pleasure allowed the urge to run it's course and I could move on with my day.
Occasionally I had some urges that simply did not pass quickly or kept reoccurring for some reason. Often this was a function of my mood or who I was with. For these cases, I had to take things a little deeper and actually reason with myself why I was in recovery. I would run through the results of giving into my urge and how it would destroy everything I have worked so hard to get so far. I would run through all the people I would let down and how that would make me feel. I imagined the feelings of guilt and worthlessness I would feel the next day if I gave in. I wrote down all of the things that I valued and how using would impact them. I forced myself to really analyse why I 'needed' to use. What was it that I was missing in my life that using was going to fulfill. Quite often I really could not come up with anything of substance.
Working through my urges has taught me a lot about myself and about my addiction. Urge control really keeps me on my toes and reminds me of why I am in recovery and how easy it would be to just walk away from everything important to me. This is not what I really want, but my mind has different thoughts. That is my addiction mind.
