The Miracle
Quite often in recovery you hear the phrase; "Don't quit until the miracle happens." Any time that I heard this, I often thought to myself; "It just did! The miracle was that I didn't just punch you in the face." Well now that I have some clean time under my belt I realize why this statement frustrated me so much.
The statement; "Don't quit until the miracle happens." is supposed to motivate a recovering addict to hold on until a point in time that they are able to recognize the miracle in their life which is their recovery. For me, it actually had quite the opposite effect. Whenever I heard it, I became infuriated and sarcastic and felt like punching someone. For me, I honestly felt that it was a miracle that I was clean and sober and that was enough for me for that moment. Being told by people to hold on until this imaginary miracle thing happened, was nothing more than a pipe dream or lie that I was supposed to buy into to give me a purpose for recovery. Well quite frankly, I didn't need an imaginary purpose. I had a real purpose. I wanted to live and be happy. For me if these happened, that would be a great bonus or side effect of the miracle or abstinence for me.
I had been drinking or using for 30 years. The longest period of complete abstinence was nothing more than a couple months. Even still during this couple months, I continued other addictive behaviors like smoking , eating and gambling so let's face it, I was hardly abstinent. The simple fact that I was able to actually quit everything, including smoking, was a miracle. The fact that I am still clean and sober 15 months later, regardless of all of the issues and loss along the way in the past year is such a massive miracle I find it hard to believe some days. This has been my mindset throughout my recovery. I understood how fortunate I was and that my miracle happened the day I decided to get clean and sober. Through my gratitude journalling and self-discovery, I have been able to recognize the miracles that have happened throughout my life and continue to happen every day. I didn't need to have someone giving me some canned response to my struggles. This statement to me is nothing more than a cop out and a way for someone that doesn't really care to try and inspire someone that they do not even really know.
Next time you want to inspire an addict in recovery or help them through their struggles when they are considering giving up, try having a conversation with them. Help them identify what "their miracle" would be. Help them identify and define their purpose for recovery. Give them something tangible to work towards. Pipe dreams don't cut it in my world. The miracle happens the day someone wants to change their life. Giving up drugs and alcohol for an addict is like walking away from a loved one. The strength and courage it takes to do that is nothing short of a miracle. Don't discount the miracle that has already happened in someone's life by suggesting that there is another one to come. For someone living minute to minute, the abstract idea of the distant future is nothing more than that, a dream.
