Faith and Acceptance
The last 24 hours have been true test in acceptance for me. As I begin my unknown length of quarantine, my mind an emotions are waging an internal tug-of-war that neither can win alone. It is only through a unified front that I can find serenity in this experience.
Although I truly realize that self growth stems from discomfort and challenges, my nature is to resist that which I have little to no control. In my mind, I am able to embrace challenge as I have realized so many rewards from the challenges that I have faced in my short, yet remarkable, 4 years of recovery. My emotions however, are often driven by fear based irrational beliefs that still persist in my psyche that I have either ignored or have not yet uncovered.
I have a choice today to resist this situation and act as a bystander witnessing the internal tug-of-war, while not knowing which side to cheer on. Or, I have the option to embrace this opportunity and work at aligning my mind with my emotional state there-by strengthening myself and proving once again that I am able to have faith and accept any situation that I am faced with. This really is not an option, I already know which I choose. With my choice to grow in my recovery, I am able to see how blessed I am with this opportunity.
The blessings I see today are: 1. I finally have the time I have wanted to work on myself, rather than simply focus on others. Self-care, step work and reading are definitely on the agenda for the next couple weeks. 2. As I am quarantined, I am forced to work on my delegation skills and come to terms with the fact that others are able and willing to support me and Residents in Recovery. 3. Trying to find time to expand our Residents in Recovery services has been a challenge the past few months. I now have the opportunity to package our programming modules into a product that can be utilized by other locations and organizations seeking our support. 4. I have always enjoyed working one-on-one with the clients but unfortunately my schedule has not permitted much of this. As my schedule just opened up, I have the opportunity to share my knowledge in support of those in quarantine with me. Watching others grow through this experience will likely be one of the most incredible rewards I could ever be blessed with. 5. Although I do not feel free, I am free to choose what I want to do at any point of the day today. Coming to terms with my concept of freedom will become a lasting benefit for me for the rest of my life.
I am ready, willing and able to do this. I will persevere and prove once again that I am capable of doing anything I put my mind and heart into. I have no limits except those that I create in my my heart and mind. Perhaps one more example of this will get me closer to the serenity and freedom that so desperately desire.
God bless you all and please support and love one another in these times. This to shall pass and with a little love and compassion, can actually be viewed as a blessing, rather than a curse.
